42-year-old woman questions her decade long marriage when "wealthy" husband refuses to tell her about his finances, despite continually getting into debt, internet warns her of potential "other woman"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 10, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

There's nothing as stabbing and sensitive as infidelity. The betrayal is like a facet of running water, every moment you think about it the facet unleashes everything until the sink is full, and you can't even begin to understand how someone could trick and twist things the way they did. It doesn't exist in a vacuum, you start questioning everything about everything: the whole relationship becomes a warped, black hole of confusion, pain, and dissociation. 

Infidelity will mar every good experience with the person. There are many kinds of infidelity too, it isn't always just about the physical. The story here may or may not have to do with infidelity. The protagonist is a woman whose husband is the breadwinner, he makes so much to the point that she doesn't have to work. The only issue is that she never has any indication or knowledge about his financial situation. Read the full story below for the full details. 

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  • 01

    My husband grew up wealthy

    Distressed woman
    via Aflo Images from アフロ（Aflo）/ Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (42f) and my husband (48m) have been married for 10 years and share 3 children. He has always been really secretive with
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 03
    his finances and was kind of showy when we dated letting me know he could "take care of me".
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 04
    I worked until we had our first child and I ended up extremely sick during my pregnancy. I
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  • 05
    stayed home during pregnancy and the babies 1st years, otherwise I have worked.
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  • 06
    I try to pay some of the bills but he generally makes much more than I do as well as receiving a payment monthly from his
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  • 07
    investment property he inherited. With that he makes about 2.5x what I do. I don't complain and I
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  • 08
    buy groceries sometimes, pay my bills as well as several household bills.
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  • 09
    My issue is he will not tell me his finances. At 3 different points in his life he has had someone bail him out of MAJOR credit card
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 10
    debt that he didn't have to pay back. He has always had his parents to fall back on and it's frustrating. Not because I am
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 11
    jealous, but because he makes enough that if he budgeted and was honest with me, we would be fine.
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  • 12
    We are moving and in comes another major issue that has been repeated over the years. He has been listing things for sale on
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  • 13
    market place and not letting me know he is selling them. Some things were furniture his mother gifted us, one was a lamp I LOVED
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  • 14
    Money
    via Billion Photos / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    and he was sneaky about it. Now I never know what is going to be missing from the house. It's frustrating and I have asked him
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  • 16
    to please just met me know so I am not surprised but he won't. He said it isn't a big deal and he forgets. I'm just beyond frustrated
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  • 17
    and at my wits end. This has been 10 years of him and his bs and I'm honestly considering divorcing him after our move if
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  • 18
    things do not change. I have given him 10 years to figure out that he needs to communicate and he can't seem to figure it out.
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 19
    Another issue is that I have been responsible for packing everything. Even when his Dad packed and brought his mothers things here after she passed I was
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 20
    the one who had to go through everything. It's been 2.5 years and he has done nothing with almost entire house worth of stuff in our garage. He sold a few things, two
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 21
    of which I wanted to keep. Sorry, I'm just so frustrated! He will sell this stuff, spend the money and then complain he is broke and we can't replace it. Am I the A_h_le?
    via u/Fakemormon-in-ut
  • 22
    AbFab-alicious • 6h ago NTA, but you are if you stay is this situation. He's not changing.
    via u/AbFab-alicious

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